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Im an 18 year old girl and up until recently i used to read hentai and fanfiction with loli/shota (basically sexualized drawings of children in anime). Two months ago i stopped and got heavy pocd and anxiety and three weeks ago i started therapy over it.

But tldr: im 18 and ever since i was young to up until recently i read erotic comics (hentai) and fanfiction of pedophillic or incestuous relationships and sometimes zoophillia. about a month and a half ago i felt disgusted by all the things ive looked up online or gotten aroused by and i fear how people would see me if they knew about it.

Based on past experience(no im not gonna whine, i just find this odd), i should be very emotional right now. I should either be depressed or anxious or something. But i reaim hentailly and truely feel nothing. To put it in a better way, i feel like im living in a bubble, all alone, just watching as the rest of the world moves on and passes me by.

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